I'm married, and I have a 10 month old son. Deep down I'm still the same guy who made the Milkshake Music Video back in the day...in some ways. I love to entertain people and be creative. I love hanging out with my friends and having a lot of fun. Although I'd never make a video like that again and there are certain lines I won't cross...I still love making Billgrip videos.
But what do I do now? I barely have time to make videos with friends. I live two and a half hours away from most of them. When we do get together, we just want to hang out and making videos can be time-consuming and stressful. I don't share the same level of comfort with other people that I live around now, and even if I did that still doesn't eliminate the lack of time to actually put these things together.
At the same time, I want Billgrip videos to reach their fullest potential. But I need some direction...at this moment I'm unsure. Here's some of the questions I'm asking myself about the future of this "hobby"...Welcome to the mind of Billgrip:
.....My job requires me to be creative all day long. I create brochures, posters, manage a website, and occasionally create videos. My hobby and job have become one, yet I've found that my job is not as fun as my hobby. In fact, my job sucks the fun out of my hobby. Should I continue to make videos for fun at all? If so, do I continue to make comedy videos? If so, do I make them about video games? I don't really play video games as much anymore...so that's not really me now as much as it used to be. If I don't make comedy about video games, what kind of comedy do I make? My friends really get behind stuff that relates to video games because they know them well. The majority of my audience subscribed because of Lag in Real Life. That video was a huge success, and we can continue to make those videos for almost guaranteed success...But we aren't really pushing the limit of what we could do...
...I'm a Christian. Should I make videos about my faith? I say I want to glorify God in my hobby, but is it enough to just make clean videos without swearing and to give God credit at the end? That seems lame. If I make videos that pertain to my faith, what style would they be? It seems like it could be more work and time than I currently am willing to give...
...Most cinematography I've ever done has been pretty plain. Someday maybe I'd like to make a legit short film, that can stand up with the millions of other legit short films out there. Legit short films need people who can pull off a convincing acting performance in a most-likely serious role. With all respect toward my friends, I don't know if any of them could do that as well as I'd like. I know I couldn't do it as well as I like. Should we try to make a horror film? An action film? Do I have the patience and attention to detail to pull that off cinematically...
...In order to pull it off cinematically, I'd need to have the right equipment...which I do not. I have the right programs, a decent camera, but no dolly-tracks or lighting sets or people to run that stuff while I'd direct. I don't have the money for that stuff and probably never will. Then, even if I had that stuff, would I have the time, motivation, people resources, and know-how to do it right?...I need direction.
Meanwhile since I'm trying to find direction, I'm actually just standing still.
